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AITH for refusing to let my friend borrow my apartment key after she keeps showing up unannounced?
Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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A key isn’t for vibes. A key is a privilege with liability attached. It’s the fridge door, the medicine cabinet, the messages popping on a table while someone’s “just waiting.” It’s the guarantee that any quiet evening can turn into surprise company and a sink full of cups that no one remembers using. Mutual friends will always campaign for peace because peace costs them nothing and costs the host everything.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.
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Here’s the unglamorous truth: wanting a locked door is normal. Wanting privacy doesn’t make anyone controlling. It makes them a person who likes to know who is in their home, which is a very low bar for civilization. Friendship doesn’t need a spare key or a location share to be real. It needs respect.
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Let the door be a door. If someone calls that distrust, they are just mad the boundary works.
‘I feel like this is crossing a line. My apartment is my safe space’: Woman refuses her friend’s demand for a spare apartment key to drop in anytime, gets labeled controlling by the friend
This woman's friend wants a key to swing by whenever, including when no one's home, which is less a favor and more a trial run for squatting. The pitch is classic convenience logic: it's just easier. Easier usually means someone else pays the cost. Next comes the moral math: if there's trust, there's access. If there's no access, prepare for a melodramatic TED Talk on betrayal. That's not trust. That's a subscription model with worse customer support.
So maybe it would be a good idea to give her the memo she missed. The one saying keys aren't friendship bracelets, and homes aren't community centers for people who treat boundaries like spam emails.
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